R.E.S.P.E.C.T: Find out what it means to me.........

Yes mam, No mam, Yes sir, No sir, please, thank you, your welcome, and even Mr. and Mrs. What do all of these phrases, terms, words have in common? They are all terms that signify some level of respect and kindness. Unfortunately, they are also terms that seem to be becoming obsolete. When I was a child, my grandparents would have skinned me alive if I didn't use these phrases. For example, my calling their next door neighbor Doris versus Mrs. Slaughter (no, really this was her name and believe me this was one woman you did not want to tangle with under any circumstance) pretty much ensured that not only was I going to get a lecture from the neighbor but a severe tanning on my backside from my grandmother. As a side note, let me just say that according to today's standards, I suffered darn near child abuse when I was smaller. Do you think I ever once seriously considered calling child protective services? That's right, say it with me people, Nooooooooo! If I did, I wouldn't be here typing this post today. Ok back to the blog, the past rash of rude behavior that has occurred in the last week has been painful to watch. Even sadder is that the actions of Serena Williams, Joe Wilson, and Kanye West are just a snapshot of the lack of respect that occurs every minute of every single day in this country.



Now, I believe in free speech just like the next person. I also believe that people are ultimately responsible for their own actions and will have to answer for them one day (more on that in another blog), but when your speech and actions infringe on someone else's civil liberties, then Houston, we have a problem! More importantly, the individuals named in the above paragraph are in the public eye which means our children are watching them. Therefore, what does it say to little "George" when Serena Williams is cursing out a judge in the middle of a game? Does "George" think it's ok to talk back to his teacher when something doesn't go his way at school? or is it ok to call the principle a jerk to his face because Joe Wilson called the president a liar? Ultimately, it is up to each individual parent to explain why such actions are wrong and to explain why they won't be tolerated. However, we aren't doing an overall good job of teaching and displaying respect to our children, and let me just say that this isn't a problem that lies along racial lines. I am just as disgusted by a young black teen who has his pants hanging down around his knees as I am by the young white teen who curses at his mother in the middle of the store.



I look at the different generations around me including my own, and I often ask myself the question: who got it right? I can't help but think that the people in my parent's generation (Baby Boomers) lost their way when it comes to this whole idea of teaching respect (I am not saying each and every last Baby Boomer got it wrong, only the generation as a whole). In my earlier example, I said my grandparent's would have meted out punishment for my apparent lack of disrespect. You see, in my grandparent's generation calling an elder by his/her first name was offensive. My parents also didn't tolerate a lack of respect. However, for the Baby Boomers, I often feel like it was more about not being embarrassed by the fact that their children lacked manners. It was more about how other people saw them as parents. Our grandparents didn't care as much about how other people saw them (although, ultimately no one wanted to be the topic of gossip at the church bake sale or fish fry); they cared more about how we saw other people. Ultimately the question for them was: did we understand that we were not then nor would we ever be on our elders level? Baby Boomers were wonderful parents in that they were able to give their children so much more than they themselves ever had, yet in some ways so many of us in generation X and Y received so much less.



I think our grandparents had it right, and I think that it is time that we take some things back old school. My room mate often teases me about being "old" in my dealings with younger people. Although I am only 31, I don't expect those under 18 (and depending upon mental maturity, 21) to address me by my first name. I don't expect for your pants to be hanging off your behind when you are talking to me. I expect to hear a thank you when I have done something for you. I don't require young people to address me as "mam" when speaking to me, but I won't give a long lecture about how I'm too young to be addressed as "mam" if they do say it to me (your personal insecurities about your age should not be a reason to chastise young people who are trying to do the right thing and show a little respect). Bottom line, they need to understand that they are not on our level. Most importantly, we have to work on being the examples for our children when it comes to this issue of respect. We are all a work in progress when it comes to setting the example, but I believe that there are signs that my generation may be waking up, smelling the coffee, and starting anew which gives me hope for the next generation. Ultimately in my opinion, the greatest gift that we can give our children besides faith and education is a value system and a sense of self worth. It is not good people, the latest phone, car or video system.

It's a Man's World???

Ignorance breeds Racism and all other prejudices. Let me repeat this phrase: Ignorance breeds Racism and all other prejudices. This is the only statement I have to make in regards to the ignorance that occurred yesterday where some parents yanked their kids out of school (which, I will admit is technically their right). They kept their children home so that they wouldn’t hear a speech given by that guy named Barack Obama who, oh yeah, just happens to be the President of the freaking United States of America. People, get a grip, enough said. Moving on, I can’t let this post go without advising that people watch the president’s address to Congress tonight at 8pm (as always, just flip your tv on, it will be on every major channel). Apparently, my dream plan may actually be coming to fruition (yes “Sally”, dreams do come true!). There will be a Republican response following the president’s address so please check out the alternative plan as well. As I said in my previous post, this is the most crucial step in getting this healthcare reform passed so I’m expecting straight talk, and please don’t forget to define terms such as public option, single payer, coop, etc. “We the people” are the only ones that matter when it comes to this issue because: A. it affects our lives, B. it is our money that will pay for it, and C. we are the boss. We hire and fire politicians in Washington every 2-5 years.

Moving on to the real post, it was announced last week that Diane Sawyer would be taking over from the retiring Charlie Gibson as ABC’s evening news anchor. Thus, 2 of the Big 3 newscasts will be anchored by women. As I heard this news, I was elated to hear that another prominent position has been taken over by a woman. However, I couldn’t help feeling just a tiny bit sad about it as well. Now, we certainly still live in a man’s world. As it stands now, women still have some work to do in the struggle for equal pay and respect in the workplace, but we aren’t far from not only reaching that goal but overtaking it. There are some studies out there that state by the year 2020, 2/3 of the college population will be female. The statistics are staggering. Even more interesting is how this economic down turn has adversely affected men. A large percentage of job losses have occurred in male dominated employment sectors such as the automobile industry and construction which begs the question: what is happening to our social structure?

Some years back, my college room mate told me that the gender roles are reversing. Men are becoming more like women, and women are becoming more like men. This statement certainly couldn’t be truer today (Vibeless, who knew you could be so clairvoyant?). Currently, my favorite television show is Mad Men (if you are desperate for a show with clever writing, this is the show for you). Mad Men is set during America’s turbulent 60’s. I won’t go into detail about the show, but it is about an advertising agency during this time. I am often fascinated by the females on this show. From the Betty Crocker housewife (whose name ironically is Betty) to the corporate climbing female at the ad agency, you can’t help but be enraptured by their silent strength and horrified by the terrible treatment dealt to them by men. Many women were virtually second class citizens everywhere including their homes, and my how the times have changed. This structure with men on top is quickly deteriorating. It is truly a whole new day. My only hope is that women will choose to show men more respect (i.e. not emasculate, degrade, or abuse them) than they have shown us all of these years.